"You Can't Please Everyone"

     So,not but a couple of hours ago I was sitting in church hearing a message I know God needed me to hear. "You Can't Please Everyone" Wow! Now I don't know about you,but this is something I've personally struggled with my entire life. While it seems like a very reasonable and simple concept it was so difficult for me to accept before today. A big thanks to Pastor Rich for delivering what was a very freeing message for me!! Mainly because it wasn't until today that I truly realized why this was such a desperate need for me.

     If you've read my first two blogs "In the beginning There Was God...I just wish I knew that..." & "13 Going On...Nowhere!", You know a little bit about my childhood. I grew up with a very abusive father and that really set to motion alot of the psychological issues I've had. Well between him and the abusive dating relationships I've been in. But this one purely stems from a need not to please him,(I gave up on that by age 8)but instead to prove him wrong. Now,I haven't spoken to my father in over 8yrs. Wow,just realized it had been that long. I did run into him at a Walgreens once 2 yrs ago,but all I could do was freeze up and shake. That and get out of there as fast as I could. Somehow I have let him have such a hold over me even with total distance. I forgave him when I first started blogging. I just however realized that he still had this hold over me.

     I NEEDED HIM TO BE WRONG ABOUT ME!!!! The problem is he has always been wrong about me. "I'm not stupid","I have purpose","people like me",and "I am loved." But the deep desire to have people like me and be happy with me and my accomplishments has all,but consumed me at times. I have very frail feelings sometimes. I get offended easily by the people I care about. Easily offended...another point brought up today at church. But I gotta say the worst point that Pastor Rich brought up was that a people pleaser may let someone keep them from accomplishing something!

     Unfortunately I've let that happen way too many times. I let my ex keep me from starting college on time. Even now I have let people tell me that I may not be strong enough to go after a degree/career that I've wanted for a very long time. But not anymore. I love my husband to no end,but even his opinion about me(despite how kind it is) has to matter less than God's opinion about me. No matter how much I pray the message is never different I am supposed to use what I went through as a child/teen to help others. I am going to be a child abuse counselor. I am going to use everything I've been through to show children/teens going through the things I've been through that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm gonna start college, God willing, next summer. I'm so excited to finally just let so much go!!

     It never ceases to amaze me how strong and clear God's messages can be!! Praise God for strength and confidence I've been lacking!!!